January 31, 2013
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Love, Fear, and Safety
Fear.
A tremor in anticipation of possible unpleasant futures does nothing to prevent their occurrence. Anger does not erase past miseries.
Fear only increases unpleasant feelings right now.
Anger is like inflammation… appropriate, and a part of a process, but not something to be continued any longer than necessary.
Love.
Love echoes and ripples and soothes. Love brings peace and clear mind. Love brings inspiration toward solutions and calm in the unpredictable and sometimes painful world.Safety.
Safety is only an illusion as is danger. There is no controlling the whims and anger and lashings from others… save by sending love in the face of ire.But it HURTS to love when I should be angry! But they don’t DESERVE a smile when they’re sending cruelty! Those are crimes against humanity itself! How can I smile and laugh?
A smile does not mean I accept the atrocities, only that I am trying not to let them poison the inside of me. My smile is a shield against the inflammation in others and, hopefully, a balm to their souls as well.
Yesterday, Seren and I spent about an hour in CVS (getting her some Hyland’s Teething Drops). It was a grey, chilly, rainy day and she was bored in the house and whiny. We stopped at one of those childrens’ ball displays and I squatted in the floor with her while she played with the balls and bounced around. I didn’t wear a watch and I don’t know how long we were there, but three or four people stopped and watched her for a long time, beaming at her innocent joy. Do you think they carried that with them? How long? I know I’m still carrying that and will at least for the rest of today.
Angry people get angry at me for not expressing enough anger to match theirs, like I’m somehow endorsing evil by not lashing out against it.
I don’t. I won’t. I can’t afford to. The poison of anger hurts my soul and I don’t want that. It’s my life and that is something I’m free to choose for myself.Try to have a peaceful day
With love, as always,
Onward and upward
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Comments (22)
WOW ~ I don’t know about anyone else, but children are what keep me going…last week I noticed my 3 year old grandson squirming about and told him to go pee…he said “I can’t want to” I said “well you need to, so go now!”..he got up and about the time he went through the bathroom door he turned to me and said ” Calm Down”
I’ll be carrying that around for quite awhile…Good luck with the teething, an ice cube in a wash cloth for her to gnaw on works pretty well too.
Peace
It’s a shame that we have come to the point that expression of opinion must be done in anger, or interpreted as expression of anger.
You my friend, are peace, understanding and love at its most beautiful state.
Okay, now I need to get back to packing.
They are angry with their minutes. They are trying to make you angry in your own minutes.
Well at least your voice can be heard, so you can get your point across.
@mlbncsga - That’s so sweet!
It’s safe to say I needed this reminder, so thank you for sharing!
Ive been wondering about the pronunciation of your daughter’s name . . . Is it pronounced like suh REEN or SEHR en? When I’m reading about her in your blog I want the right pronunciation in my brain . . I love seeing babies when I’m out and about. I am a grandma and my granddaughter is 7 months. I am attracted to babies like a magnet. My attention utterly engaged. I’m thankful for young mothers that are patient about strangers admiring their babies, as it does interrupt them.
you’re amazing. one time someone called me passive for not getting angry at this other person’s remark/comment or observation. i didn’t think it was meant to be offensive in the first place.
There is not much in this world that is as beautiful as a child playing happily, totally absorbed in what they are busy with. I think we like to see it because it puts us in touch with a world we have lost and one we would love to regain.
Sometimes I see it in the dementia patients I work with, the ones who are not agitated in any way. They live in a world devoid of troubles and seem at peace with everything. They gain pleasure from the simplest of things. Sometimes I have to shut myself away and cry because it moves me so much and because I wish I could just be that content.
I tried homeopathic teething stuff, I am not sure they work seeing that teething pain is only temporary anyway. Distraction for your child is always a good thing except when they get sleepy.
Thanks for another lighthearted blog.
you are precious. <3
I hadn’t thought about angry people wanting me to be angry in exactly those terms. The closest thing was a few years ago when it struck me that the pacifists I knew were angry people. That struck me as ironic, but I think it depends on what you mean by pacifism. Many pacifists are extremely concerned about justice, and believe the way to peace is through justice. They’ve got a point, but in terms of winning me over, I’d be more attracted to a pacifist who radiates peace. Like Mother Teresa.
Kids are awesome. They keep things in perspective.
I am trying to purify my life with love. it helps me see better, and it sifts my life and actions, so that what I do is more wise and loving. and so I can better evaluate what I have done.
children always bring a smile. their innocent joy of life and discovery.
I think that anger can be useful at times, but it also, as you say, can be poisonous. It is definitely so when it leaves one feeling impotent and/or hateful. I think that living in love is the best thing for everyone. Living in love is definitely the best example to set, and Seren is one adorable and lucky girl. Your whole family is. The dynamic is beautiful!
I’ve never understood people who need others to feel what you are feeling, especially when it is negative. I harbor a lot of anger, but I do not want to drag anyone down with me. It only puts more negativity into the world.
You are absolutely correct.
If you are really like your pictures, words and art, how on earth could someone be angry with you, of all people?
@mlbncsga - We’ve not had any trouble with teething yet really. I’m just getting ready in case. I don’t want to be in a hurry to get something to soothe her if we have a late night crisis or something. Being around that little joyous sunbeam child has been great for my state of mind too. We spend so much time learning to be “adult” and then trying to learn to be a child all over again lol
You are precious to me too.
I think others like to see their views reflected in others. I’m ok with that. I try to let it all roll off my back. Most of the time I’m successful.
@vexations - Peace to you too
@slmret - It is just human nature I suppose. Some people are addicted to stress and “being right” and that’s ok too.
@WildWomanOfTheWest - You are too kind. I know I’ve been absent a lot, but I send continuous prayer/good thoughts on your moving adventure and for your health
@LGailGarrett - Beautifully said!
@RulerofMasons - Xanga is a good place for that. It’s pointless to preach peace to the restless most of the time.
@nov_way - I’m so glad my little rant landed in a good place. Whatever is going on in your adventures, I wish you peace, understanding and wholeness
@l0311879l - Yeah. People perplex me too sometimes, but that’s ok. I don’t have to be understood to feel good about myself thank goodness.
@feedwaterclean - SEHR en is the correct pronunciation. I have to know for my inner voice too. I love seeing her have little conversations and interactions with other babies out in the world. Most other parents are patient with us too. It’s beautiful!
@f5ye_angel5 - Thank you! I am accused of being overly passive frequently. I just don’t see why I have to be mad to say something isn’t as it should be. I can reject things by ignoring it quite easily.
@holeinyoursoul - We spend the first chunk of life learning to be more “grown” and the rest trying to go back to where we started. It is a great journey.
@PPhilip - I am very lucky to have a happy and healthy child! No crisis or illness yet!
@be_the_rain - Ohhh thank you
@Roadkill_Spatula - I think the best way to encourage pacifism is to be unruffled by the issues of modern life. That’s what I strive for. The pacifists I know in real life seem much more stressed out about others’ lack of peace.
@plantinthewindow - So well said my dear friend
@BoureeMusique - Fortunately, my husband has decided to detox from all the anger for a bit. Peace and happiness is contagious I think… I hope.
@Erika_Steele - I think many people want their ire or unsettledness to be validated and reflected by others… and that too is ok. We’re all in different points on the path.
@Inciteful - Oh my gosh thank you
@oceanstarr - Thank you, Starr.
That’s so kind of you to say! And I wish you the same =)