Fear.
A tremor in anticipation of possible unpleasant futures does nothing to prevent their occurrence.  Anger does not erase past miseries.
Fear only increases unpleasant feelings right now. 
Anger is like inflammation… appropriate, and a part of a process, but not something to be continued any longer than necessary.
Love.
Love echoes and ripples and soothes. Love brings peace and clear mind. Love brings inspiration toward solutions and calm in the unpredictable and sometimes painful world.

Safety.
Safety is only an illusion as is danger. There is no controlling the whims and anger and lashings from others… save by sending love in the face of ire.

But it HURTS to love when I should be angry! But they don’t DESERVE a smile when they’re sending cruelty! Those are crimes against humanity itself! How can I smile and laugh?

A smile does not mean I accept the atrocities, only that I am trying not to let them poison the inside of me. My smile is a shield against the inflammation in others and, hopefully, a balm to their souls as well.

Yesterday, Seren and I spent about an hour in CVS (getting her some Hyland’s Teething Drops). It was a grey, chilly, rainy day and she was bored in the house and whiny. We stopped at one of those childrens’ ball displays and I squatted in the floor with her while she played with the balls and bounced around. I didn’t wear a watch and I don’t know how long we were there, but three or four people stopped and watched her for a long time, beaming at her innocent joy. Do you think they carried that with them? How long? I know I’m still carrying that and will at least for the rest of today.

Angry people get angry at me for not expressing enough anger to match theirs, like I’m somehow endorsing evil by not lashing out against it.
I don’t. I won’t. I can’t afford to. The poison of anger hurts my soul and I don’t want that. It’s my life and that is something I’m free to choose for myself.

Try to have a peaceful day
With love, as always,
Onward and upward
*

Still thinking about gun control… I can’t discard the idea that disarming the population is silly for lots of reasons. I’m bumping into a lot of discussion about our “gun culture” and talk about censorship “for the CHILDREN”.

I find it abhorrent to use children as pawns to emotionally manipulate people. Our children (white Americans) are no more or less valuable than brown children in foreign lands being impacted by American military actions.

Too many mothers I talk to say “what if it was YOUR daughter shot in school?”
I say that’s an emotional, not a logical statement and no, it wouldn’t change my mind.

Entertainment follows popular culture follows entertainment. Try not to mistake the symptoms of cultural illness for the cause. I ran a server for a first person shooter game for many years and really enjoyed blowing up cartoons on my computer after my college classes. It was a great stress relief for me.
I’m also a turn the other cheek kind of pacifist. I never once mistook a cartoon on my screen for a human life. I avoid killing anything – plants, bugs, animals. My love for life and awareness of inter-connectivity isn’t confused by a silly game.

Ah well. I’m glad it’s not my job to make legislation. How on Earth do we heal a culture that doesn’t see the light in other living beings? Let’s hope that the idea of a new golden age is valid – these prophecies that trickle toward us from older cultures…

Love is contagious. I believe that.

A couple of this week’s paintings for your enjoyment. They’re all for sale. I just don’t post prices and such here because this is my “friend” space. The sales space is on facebook (Ocean Starr Cline).

Strange Fruit
Acrylic on plywood
10.5″x15″
I grew up in rural Alabama. Long roads and open fields are in my heart always. I also specialized in African American and post-colonial literature in college. Incidentally, tropical birds are also a big part of my life. So “Strange Fruit” has many, many meanings for me.

Partners Reaching Up
Acrylic, textile, and tissue on canvas
16″x20″

A celebration of life. That is all

With love as always
Onward and upward
*

A topic on my mind this evening: curating life…

As some of you know, I am a zen practitioner. I am also (obviously), an artist.

This thought occurs to me this evening in my meditations and online wanderings. I hate to use the word “you” as it seems quite targeted, but it’s difficult to work the words otherwise.

Do you curate your life?

I interact with galleries frequently and have entertained the idea of becoming a curator myself.  To be a curator in a gallery or a museum means to carefully select just the right items to compose a larger picture, a larger story in a location.

How many things ask for one’s time… pets, children, mealtimes, meetings, jobs, automotive inconveniences… Some of these things are important. By this, I mean, if they are not attended to, there will be negative consequences that Matter. Some of them have negative consequences that matter. And some have negative consequences that do not matter. It is worth considering just what we spend our minutes doing.

That is all.

We have limited time in our tiny little lives. Don’t think I have any deadline or crisis in mine. Just a meditation I wanted to share.

Be blessed
With love, as always

onward and upward,
*

1: Continued firearm contemplation:

As I continue to think about the firearm debate, one question (with its offshoots) has really stood out to me. Does is make any sense for the Federal Government to legislate for the nation? Do the citizens of Alabama, for example, need the same gun control policies as California or New York? What about rural citizens vs. urban citizens.
I’m starting to think this is best handled on a more local level. The more people I talk to, the more I see huge differences in perception of firearms and their benefits/risks/uses. Our country is just too large and diverse to have a single policy maybe…

2: Baby update

She took her first couple tentative steps last night and this morning. Also likes super garlicky hummous and grapefruit juice. Still plays with her ukulele for extended periods of time and is getting better and better at plucking the strings with appropriate force etc.

The lady playing the harp, when she started plucking strings, said “Do you hear the angels?”
Talk about an awkward moment for me! I don’t want to open a whole new can of worms regarding religious belief or anything like that, but I can see a lot of challenging conversations in my future regarding different belief systems.  I have a very difficult time being dishonest. It’s just not in me… I prefer to be respectful, but honest, and logic is my best friend.
Ah well… We all muddle through these things one way or another.

3: Art art art…

I paint and I paint. And I paint. I covered over an old piece with tissue yesterday and laid in great swaths of color this morning with Seren on my lap. She has good manners at the easel right now and clearly enjoys being with me while I work. It’s sweet. 
I’m thinking about dogwoods and passion fruit flowers and butterflies and music.

There are many people I know who seem to go from being angry at one thing to being angry at the next… Sometimes even lashing out at me for not being angry too. I’m going to say here what I’d like to say to them lol… because biting one’s tongue isn’t really healthy either (unless it is in the spirit of keeping peace in a low stakes situation).

I have grown weary of being angry and frustrated. I have become bored with stress and tension and I don’t find any benefit anymore in pretending that I can join *you/others* in that expenditure of energy. Anger and frustration with others serves absolutely no constructive purpose in my life. It makes me feel ill in my head and gut. I made an active decision in my life to pursue positive feelings, not because I am blind to injustice and ugliness, but because it makes me feel more well and helps me do good work.

With love as always
Onward and upward
*

Just kidding. There was a lot of snow in Knoxville, but I live in Oak Ridge and this was about the worst of it for us.

The ice sure was pretty in a couple spots where the unfrozen water ran off and left this surface behind. 

So right now, I’m painting the spring I want to see and am looking forward to.

Dogwood Morning
Acrylic on canvas
16″x12″

I really appreciate that there’s been a logical and pleasant sharing of ideas on my gun control post! Thanks again to everyone who has helped me to refine my thoughts on the subject.
I do believe it’s important for people to be able to have firearms. Growing up in the South, most firearms were used for hunting or for self-defense on the farm… It’s good to hear viewpoints from people from other various backgrounds and points of view.

I also want to say that my choice to be a stay at home/work at home mother is based on several factors. Childcare is expensive and what I could earn around here doesn’t offset the cost very well. 
I want to be with her during this first year at least which goes by SO fast. I’m selfish like that.
My research and personal perspective on early childhood development makes me want to.
It’s certainly not the best plan for every family… but my father stayed at home with me until I was five and I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything in the Universe! I would love for my daughter to have similar memories to soften the sometimes harsh realities that come as we grow up. 
Onward an upward.
Ever with love
*

I can’t escape the debate so I’m going to make a little statement of my position.

1: It’s already illegal to shoot people. This indicates to me that legislation does not cause people to behave.

2: In my research, legislation does not control the black market – only influences the directions in which it flows. I believe those who seek guns will find them.

3: Violence in the media is a circular situation – Violence in real life is reflected in entertainment and vice versa.

4: My conclusion is that there is an unwellness in our society… a lack of respect for life. I believe this is caused by the degradation of the family unit and public education problems. I was more scared for my physical well being in the public school system than anywhere else I’ve been in my entire life. That is not an exaggeration.

5: Guns are no more the cause of violence than cars the cause of road deaths. Both the wrecks I was in were caused by inattentiveness of drivers (back to respect for life/respect for others).

I consider myself an empowered, confident woman – not forced to be “momma”. I choose to stay home with my daughter because it’s the right thing to do as a mammal. Dog mommas take care of their pups. Lionesses care for their young. Bears protect their cubs while they need it. When young are properly cared for, they grow up more emotionally balanced and healthy than if they are not. I don’t worry about gender specific behavior. A man can care for a newborn as well as a woman (aside from lack of boobies)… The best food for our young is love and support and lots and lots of hugs and kisses.

Maybe this is overly simplistic, but, for the purpose of a brief blog entry, it’s enough for now. An individual who feels connected to the world and those around them will find it much harder to harm them. Starting with love is much better and more effective in my opinion than starting with fear and legislation. Economic conditions in this country make many feel that they must work and be away from their loved ones a great deal of the time causing havoc on nutrition and emotional support. The most common complaint I hear these days is about lack of money and stress resulting thereof.

How do you think we can fix this agony in our society?

So I feel a little silly about making those wool scarves this month… It’s not winter. I’m not seeing any winter… sigh…

The warm weather has caused flowers to bloom in my brain.  Here in Knoxville, we have the Dogwood Arts Festival in spring some time and I’m always late painting dogwoods. Not this year!
  
Impression of Spring
Acrylic on wood
16″x22″  Pink Dogwoods
Acrylic on Canvas
16″x20″
This one may be about the end of the stained glass series for a while. I’ll do some more when I get some boards that are the aspect ratio I want, but for now, I’m thinking spring flowers

Note to self… don’t forget to actually get into the festival… lol

You paper mache makers and magnet makers are making me feel like a slacker. I gotta kick it up a notch I reckon before you folks take my job!

I just have a couple minutes to type before I have to go grab the little one, but I wanted to share a couple photos while I have a bit of time.
Last night was the Grand Opening at Artifactia. Seren hasn’t really liked going out in the evenings since winter shortened our days, but last night she did very well in spite of her tiredness. It was even warm enough for her to wear a cute little party dress… too warm, however, for me to wear one of the wool scarves I’ve just made. Maybe it’ll get cool enough to use them… <insert repetitive global warming debate here>
 
We were captured in our funness.
At the shop, I have about 18 paintings, including five from the Stained Glass Collection. Here’s another piece which hasn’t gone to the shop yet – brand new.

Butterfly Watches Fire
Acrylic on wood
16″x7″

The Stained Glass Collection is about to be over. I don’t know if I’ll be going in an altogether new direction again or just changing the way I do this kind of a thing, but the change has hit me already. I started a stained glass piece with pink dogwood blossoms and now I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish it as is…
Change change change.
Lovely
Be blessed
Onward and upward
*

As I wandered the aisles of the grocery store today, I decided to hunt for some peanut butter with only “peanuts” on the ingredient list. I don’t want palm oil and salt and sugar. Just peanuts… But that’s a different rant.
I was shocked to find another non-food product on the food shelf. I saw… get this… CALORIE FREE peanut “spread”… This is supposed to save you the calories of peanut butter.  Really!!? Peanut butter is highly nutritious! Peanut butter and whole grain bread will sustain the human organism with almost no other help in a pinch… Amazing food!
So let’s take all the value out of it.
The ingredient list was a mile long as well with lots of partially hydrogenated mystery chemicals too…

The world.
Is a strange place.

As you already, likely, know, dear Reader, life is busy at my house.  Art show in 5 days. Dropoff tomorrow.  Commissions and new work bubbling out all over the place plus new ideas for cool shelf buddies which I’ll describe in more detail as I get some done.
I’m back into crochet.  My wrist is doing ok so far and I made a really fun, skinny burgandy and pink scarf.  It’s all wool and super long for extra wrapping fun. I’m making another one in the same colors, but wider and as long, I guess, as the yarn lasts. 
Baby dear is squirming like crazy so it’s tough to type much these days.  She is healthy and thriving though.
A couple new pieces for your enjoyment:
Peace Rising
16″x20″
Acrylic on canvas with tissue for texture
Music and Flight
Acrylic on plywood with permanent frame
21″x48″