September 24, 2013
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Things I have to do and things I don’t have to do…
Most of the time I feel like I have a pretty normal life. I have routine. I have fun days and work days. I certainly feel like I earn my living, but it’s enjoyable… but every once in a while I’m reminded of the way people around me live.
Someone said to me recently, “We do what we have to do, don’t we?”
I stumbled my way around some appropriate response, but what I really wanted to say was “NO! We do what we want to do!” I knew that would only get me some lecture about bills and parental responsibility and blah blah blah… so I managed to keep those words inside of my mouth, but they’ve been trying to spring out ever since.
Yes, I’m taking a part time teaching job this fall. No, that is not what I “have” to do. It’s something I think will be fun and feel good and help my family and some students. Yes, I’ll keep painting full time. That’s not something I “have” to do. It’s just something I do as a function of my existence. I breathe; therefore, I paint. It’s not some flaming passion; it’s just something this organism is designed to do apparently.
Ok… so things I have to do? Care for my child? Nope. I don’t have to do that. I could be like so many other women I see and pawn the Girl Child off on some grandparent or pay for care or just split. I’m kind of astonished at how many women see those paths as viable options, but they are, certainly, options.
Things I have to do? What things I have to do? I learned a long time ago that making decisions about my life out of a fear of consequences was only a long game of chasing my tail and I won’t do it any more. I have spent my life on a quest for freedom and contentment and I don’t often compromise that any more.
I guess it sounds like I’m bragging a bit, and maybe I am a smidge overproud of my happiness with my life. Don’t worry. All lives have troughs and peaks. I’ll see as many dark days as I do happy ones no doubt. I just don’t let myself on the keyboard when I feel less than my good self haha…
Repeat. No Coda.
Acrylic on plywood with tissue for texture.
~17.5″x9.5″ -edges painted black, ready to hang
Go forth and be in the driver’s seat.Onward and upward
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Comments (11)
Onward and Upward…I wish more mothers felt like you about raising kids, what could ever be a more important and rewarding occupation…I don’t think there is one. Love the painting, is he a goldfinch?
I guess it just seems easier to treat her right and enjoy her company. They have so many more discipline and care issues when they’re not handled with love and patience.
I guess the bird does kind of look like a female goldfinch. I’ve been watching them in our yard a lot this year.
I love spending time with my kids as well. They are only young for a time and once they are gone, mothers like you and I will have many happy memories to maintain us.
I too love the bird, but for some reason the red reminds me of blood splatter which isn’t so pleasant.
Interesting take on the painting. It’s about music to me and red is a happy color. I don’t mean for you to think your impression isn’t valid to me – just interesting how differently two people can see things.
I try to save up lots of special little girl memories to hold on to for my lonely crone days haha.
Have to vs. want to – so many people have difficulty with this concept. They also can’t differentiate between need and want…
I pressed the like button on this entry.
Ah, now that you mention music I understand the 2 dots and the lines. Before I was curious about them, and saw the horizontal lines sort of like the telephone wires that birds around here perch on. I too enjoy seeing different takes on the same painting. It is a concept that reminds me of how I used to buy multiple matching coloring books and have each of my boys (2), and myself take the same picture into a different section of the room and later compare how we each completed them with unique colorings, shadings etc.
Your paint brushes are blessed! One of the divine muses has lent their touch, or so it seems to me.
… but I really really don’t want to get sun burned in the wrong places… soooo….
We do what we must in order to ultimately do what we want. How does that sound? I don’t want to get out of bed some mornings, but I do want to earn a living and so I sacrifice one what I want to do for another what I really want. What I really really want is to romp naked all day in a tropical island paradise with cute scantly clad pretty native women. I admire Gaugin.
I definitely have aspirations for changes in my future, but I’m patient with the ride. Gaugin was a pretty sick character really… The paintings were the best part of him as far as I understand.
I get really cantankerous when people try to tell me I have to do something… And it seems the whim of the universe is, thus far, in my favor. I don’t have piles of money, but that’s only one of many ways to gauge success.
Gaugin abandoned his family. I could never do that. I can dream of a tropical island paradise though. Hmm I think I am going to have to watch a few episodes of Gilligan’s Island…
Indeed. At least my obsession with painting doesn’t lead me too far from the ones who love me (and whom I love). I guess I’m not terribly thrilled to be teaching again, but it is a good experience and I generally enjoy it. Just looking forward to the day when art funds me completely and I don’t need to slide into a regular job anymore.